Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Diabetes Blog Week: One Thing to Improve
Prompt: Yesterday we gave ourselves and our loved ones a big pat on the back for one thing we are great at. Today let’s look at the flip-side. We probably all have one thing we could try to do better. Why not make today the day we start working on it. No judgments, no scolding, just sharing one small thing we can improve so the DOC can cheer us on!
I'm a perfectionist. So being diagnosed with diabetes--a completely imperfect disease did not mesh well with me. I feel as though there's a lot in which I can improve on with this disease. I try hard, but let's face it, you usually don't see perfect and diabetes in the same sentence!
What do I want to improve on? Being more open about my disease. I'm so afraid of being judged and of people thinking "how can she do this or that with diabetes?" I fear the criticism. I feel as though I need to "prove" myself before I let people know this deep, dark secret about me. And that's how I act with people in the outside world--testing my blood sugar with my hands in my purse so others don't see. I'll be the one hiding in the bathroom stall entering my blood sugar into my pump or secretly stuffing fruit snacks down my throat.
Diabetes consumes me. It's what I'm thinking about most of the day! I need to learn to let people know, "Yes, I have diabetes, but this is what I have done/can do in spite of it." It's something I am working on and struggling with everyday. In this world, where people are so judgmental and critical--how can you blame me for this fear?