Sweetnd Truth: There's more to me than what you see...

I just finished the book "Needles: A Memoir of Growing Up With Diabetes," by Andie Dominick. It talks about the trials and challenges of diabetes, and the truly powerful affect it can have on a diabetic's life.  The author proves what a daily task it really is.   The book starts out explaining how much Andie adores her sister who has Type 1 Diabetes.  She would play with the needles (orange caps still on them), and pretend to give shots to her stuffed animals.  Little did she know, she would soon be giving herself insulin shots.   Eventually, after years with diabetes, Andie has complications. It gave me a different perspective on the disease. It makes me want to work a little harder to avoid medical problems. She ends up having diabetic retinopathy.  She has to have laser surgeries to prevent more vessels in her eye from bursting.  Scary stuff--but it's reality. Then she goes through periods of denial and stops giving herself insulin. She ends up in the hospi

Low #1...I can deal with it. Low #2...getting a little agitated. Low #3...feel like I wanna give up.   High #1...UGH! Not to mention, these lows happen within a 10 hour time frame.  I just want to shove every piece of food down my mouth to get rid of these sweaty, shaky, heart-racing lows.  My brain tells me "FOOD...NOW!!" Hours later, sky-rocketing numbers appear on my meter.  First low, I just felt weird while laying in bed.  I knew that if I didn't get up and test myself, I wouldn't be able to get to sleep.  I get up, test myself, and an ugly 58 is staring back at me from the test meter.  The frustrating thing is that I don't know what's causing these lows.  Am I giving myself too much insulin?  Or are my basal rates off?  This is too much math for an English major! What am I so scared of?  I am petrified that I will have a low while sleeping and not wake up.  The sensor gives me a peace of mind.  Sometimes it completely pisses me off.  Be

"What's that?" [pointing to my insulin pump]. It's a question I get asked on a daily basis--especially by children, since I am a teacher. I never know how exactly to answer this question.  I've always been a private person when it comes to my diabetes. Lately, I've been opening up more and more, and trying not to be shy or embarrassed by it.   My fear?  Being judged.  I can do a lot while managing my diabetes.  I have to admit that I am one tough cookie [pun intended :)] Earlier this year, I worked full-time, went for my masters degree, planned a wedding, and managed my diabetes--all at once! I'm not asking for a pat on the back, but I want people to know that I [and other diabetics] can handle a lot more than it looks like! We all answer the question "What's that?" differently when referring to the pump and diabetes.  Sometimes based on who is asking, but also sometimes on our comfort level.  We're like this for a reason.  So,

After several days of high blood sugar, I am thankful that the coating of sugar goes away and I am able to see clearly again. After the long, dreadful minutes of the shaky, sweaty, scary lows..the sugar finally seeps into my bloodstream, and I am thankful to be able to stand up on my own and coherently understand what is going on. I'm thankful for kink-free tubing when changing an infusion site, therefore helping my blood sugar  not  be out of whack! I am thankful that I don't have any other serious health complications along with diabetes [so far]. I am thankful for the diabetic technology available to me so that I can try to live my life as "normally" as possible. I am  so, so, so  thankful for my family, friends, advocates, supporters, doctors, my kitty, & the online diabetic community. From the people who listen everyday...to the ones who have helped me through a difficult low or high blood sugar or diabetic situation. I'm lucky to be blessed

November is National Diabetes month.  Today, November 9th, is d-blog day.  It was started back in 2005 to help connect bloggers and create awareness on the disease. There is a different topic each year; this year, diabetics are asked to share six things about diabetes with others. Here are some facts that I consider to be important and worth sharing:  1.  Type 1 Diabetes can happen at any age and is still considered to be 'Juvenile Diabetes.' I was diagnosed at age 22.  People believe that because a person is diagnosed later in life, it is not the same. Completely untrue!  In fact, people with type 1 always have that autoimmune gene in them,  and it decides when it wants to come out.  It could happen at any point in your life.  No matter what age you're diagnosed, type 1 diabetics still require insulin to live. 2.  We didn't do anything to deserve diabetes. Most people with Type 1 diabetes are very healthy!  We take care of ourselves, even before our in

Is it ironic that my husband's birthday also marks my D-Anniversary?  I think not...since my husband is my biggest supporter and advocate.  Three years ago today--we had plans to go out with friends and family to celebrate, but we were sidetracked by this illness that had overcome me.   We thought our trip to Emergency One would be quick--we would be in and out...no big deal.  Little did we know that our lives would forever be changed.   I don't think there's any irony to these two events happening on the same day.  Kris, my husband, is so much a part of my life, diabetes-related...and everything else in between.  Living together, he sees the effects that this disease has on me.  He shares the frustrations and fears with me.  We are a team in this fight against diabetes, and we won't let it get the best of us.   [Raises glass] So, here’s to another 3 years of exceptional health & happiness in life with my husband  and  diabetes!

As an avid cupcake and sugar lover, I know what a difficult time Halloween can cause!  Having bags of delectables around the house can be tempting for a diabetic. I have come up with some strategies that might be helpful to my fellow diabetics, especially the parents of diabetic children out there. One of the most important words that I have learned as a diabetic is  moderation.   You can eat anything, and I mean  anything , that you want in moderation.  Nothing is off limits.  Just limit how much you eat.  So have that candy on Halloween; but don't eat every piece that you have in the bag.  I find that I can consume more candies (at a time) that are low in sugar, for example, Reeses or Hersheys.  However, candies like Starburst or Skittles, I have to really watch, because they spike my blood sugar.  So, for parents, I suggest giving your children what they can eat and storing away the rest of it.  No need to have that candy sitting out and in diabetic reach!  Another use

         This whole "pre-existing condition" is very aggravating, to say the least.  Why do I...someone who struggles with diabetes everyday...have the added stress of proving that I had previous insurance in order to have current coverage?  What is wrong with the world today?  I had a specific insurance for three months, and then a different one before that.  My current health provider wanted me to get a letter from my health insurance company from a year ago to "prove" that I had insurance!  What's worse is that I came home a couple weeks ago to a packet full of "denied coverage" due to a "pre-existing condition."  Really?  You couldn't have sent that to me months ago?      So here I am today,  finally  going to my general doctor for my annual check-up & flu shot; originally scheduled 2 weeks ago, but due to an outstanding balance, I couldn't go.  As diabetics [and others suffering from chronic diseases], we should get t

         Is anyone else petrified of even the thought of a low bg?  The past couple of times I worked out, my bg was about 110-130 when I started my exercise routine.  It scares me because my workouts are pretty intense.   The fact that I could drop low while working out frightens me!  I hate those sweaty, shaky, heart-racing, wanna-shove-every-food-in-my-mouth lows! So, when I am busting my butt--punching and kicking and doing all those other fun body combat moves, the last thing I want to have on my mind are those dreadful low blood sugar levels!       Am I feeling fatigued because the class really is kicking my toosh, or am I low?  When I test, and I am on the lower 100 end, I shove a fruit strip in my mouth, barely even tasting what it is I am actually eating...because I don't want to miss a minute of my workout.  Testing during a workout class is a pain!  I try not to get in people's workout space--but it is inevitable.  Staying out of their way is like going throu

       Imagine one of your favorite childhood memories.  What can you smell..hear..taste?  For me, it was the time that I spent with my grandma & grandpa (Nanny & Poppop was what I called them).  My grandmother made the most delicious lentil soup.  This was my all-time favorite of hers.  To this day, no one can quite make it like she did.  Something is always missing, but you can’t put your finger on exactly what it is!  Does it need more salt..more basil? What is it?!  Nanny’s recipe is very vague...to say the least!  It goes like this: “A little bit of this, a little bit of that.”  No measurements.        Today, I decided to try to make the famous lentil soup.  As I cooked the lentils, I thought about Nanny, and how much I miss her.  What would she think about me having diabetes?  She was the Italian grandma who gave you many different sweets and flavorful edibles...ranging from cookies, cakes, bagels, & pastas!  What would she do now?  I’m sure she would feel sym

My Diabetes Advocates This is my third year doing the Diabetes Walk.  The rain pretty much held out, which made the day very enjoyable!  My team (“Team Joanna Banana”) raised $1, 315!  Wow, go us!  I feel so extremely lucky to have wonderful family and friends who support me in this walk and throughout my life.  It’s amazing how many people came together to support such a great cause.  It shows how many children...parents..friends..& families are affected by this disease.   Altogether, JDRF raised over $70,000!   Feels so good to know that we helped contribute to that large amount!  “Some people come into our lives, and leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same.”

After reflecting back on my honeymoon, I think about the effects of diabetes and traveling.  My husband and I went to Florence & Rome, Italy on our honeymoon--among a few other beautiful European countries [Germany, Austria]!  I found that Italy was definitely the most difficult to balance my blood sugar with the food.  Carbs, carbs, carbs!   How can you resist the delicious gelato?  The flavors vary from mint, strawberry, melon, chocolate, tiramisu, banana, & more!  Not to mention, the gelato has fresh fruit perfectly placed in the gelato, which makes it look even more appetizing!   How can you say no to the homemade pasta filled with cheeses and meats, and topped with cheese or tomato sauce?  The pasta was almost as tall as me!  How could you pass up the oozing-cheese covered pizza with a warm-risen crust?   How can you not give in to the pastries which are covered in sugar and a dollop of icing on top?  Or the ones that are swirled with cinnamon and topped with bak

Shaky, Sweaty, Trembling, Hot, Clumsy... Need to sit down. Exercising: good for my health; despite what it can do to my blood sugar. No one there to help. Diabetic bracelet on my wrist; thank God for that. Fumble to grab sugar. Eat & wait... Test again and hope it rises.

Going for a walk outside...always a challenge and a task in itself!   I need to have two extra hands just to carry everything I need related to diabetes alone!  Forget even carrying a water bottle to quench my thirst!   Meter in hand...Check! Fruit strip stuffed in meter case...Check! Make sure I have the test strips & lancet device...Check! Iphone in holder & attached to arm...Check!   Test myself before walking out the door...Check! Oh, don’t forget keys...Check! Ready!!! Walking alone around the neighborhood requires some extra preparation.  I carry my iPhone not only to use as an ipod, but as a phone...(duh!)  I want to have some form of technology on me in case I need to call for help.  People aren’t always around when I’m out on a walk.  It can be scary...   All in all, pretty successful workout.  I try to test during the walk--but sometimes those lows can hit you so fast!  When I got home, I tested, and was 71...eek!  Not the best number to see o

What type of diabetes do you have :   Type 1 Diabetes...also known as Juvenile Diabetes. When were you diagnosed :   November 3, 2007...my husband’s birthday...happy birthday to him :( What's your current blood sugar :   Before dinner it was about 260 (ugh), but it’s because I worked out...I am still trying to figure out how to adjust my insulin based on the workout intensity...not fun. What kind of meter do you use :   One Touch Ultra Link How many times a day do you test your blood sugar :   About 10 times a day...sometimes a little more if I am working out. What's a "high" number for you :   I’d say over 200...not what most diabetics would say, but I am still trying to control it and learn how to appropriately adjust insulin.  What's do you consider "low" :  Below 70.  Worst feeling EVER. What's your favorite low blood sugar reaction treater :   I usually have the Kellogg's fruit snack packs.  Recently, I have been eating an al

NYC--the city where I got engaged, and the place that my husband and I love to go every opportunity that we can!  This time, for a change, we went to Brooklyn instead of Manhattan.  It was great; I always find it so much harder to control my numbers when I am “out on the go,” so I knew that this particular day could be a challenge. Walking around the city can be a great work out, but I’m always afraid I am going to drop low!   Those numbers in the twenties, thirties, forties....scare me!  One place in particular that we went was the Botanical Gardens.  It was gorgeous there; made me enjoy all of the beauty that the world has to offer.  I was so proud of myself because after walking for a tremendous amount of time, being hot & tired (all factors that can affect my blood sugar), I was 126!  I was so happy & felt so good, physically.  What a difference it makes when your numbers are right where you want them to be!  It’s a constant struggle...this Type 1 diabetes, and I find

Today is Diabetes Art Day!  This is what I created...My piece of art represents what I could not live without--both figuratively and literally.  Everything is surrounded by love...because people around me (my husband, cat, friends, and family) support me by giving me unconditional love.  The love that I have for myself also keeps me going and reminds me to take care of myself the best that I can.  Then, there are the physical objects (insulin, test meter & strips, lancets, batteries) that I would never be able to live without.  And it’s all posted on my own creative, hand-made pink test strip, which is colored in with a licorice-scented marker.  

I am trying to think of the positives here...of having a pump.  I think one of the best things is that I am always carrying a flashlight!  When my husband is sleeping, and I need to find something in the bedroom, and it’s completely dark...I hit the down arrow button on my pump, and viola!...I can see!  When I am at the movies...and I can’t find my diabetic supplies in my purse...or a hair tie...there’s my personal flashlight attached at my hip!   When I want to see my cat in the dark, or want to get him to chase a shadow or reflection--I just hit that backlight button! Searching for pajamas in my dresser, or a specific piece of paper on my desk is an easy task too! Damn! I can’t find my earring that I dropped on the floor...that’s no problem with my handy pump!   Ahh...the simple things in life.  How many of you can say you always carry a flashlight right on your hip (literally)?

The Hudson Valley--where I have been volunteering to help people with diabetes. “Nobody can do everything, but everyone can do something.” ~Author Unknown     I am proud to say that my website is now posted on the JDRF website!  I have been trying to find more ways to volunteer with diabetes, and one main reason of starting my blog was to help others.  I am hoping that by putting my words, feelings, and daily obstacles with diabetes out there...that it lets others know that they are  not   alone.       After being diagnosed, I had no one to turn to that could relate to what I was going through.  I had wonderful family there by my side; but I felt alone in regards to the emotional aspects of being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  It was the online community that helped me through this, and who continue to inspire and support me with this disease.  Specifically, I turned to the website  www.sixuntilme.com .  I was so motivated by Kerri Morrone Sparling’s words and thoughts.  He

       “Hey, how do you like the pump?” someone asked me at work yesterday.  He glanced down at the pink pager-looking thingy on my hip.  He went on to tell me that his wife is a Type 1 Diabetic.  I told him how much I love the pump and how much easier it is to manage this disease.   He said that he had heard many different thoughts on the pump and wasn’t sure what to think of it.       When first diagnosed, I swore that I would never, ever be on the pump.  There was no way I was going to have something attached to me all the time.   So, I started on the syringes, which drove me nuts.  I would have to measure out the insulin in units.  Oh, but before I did that, I would have to do math and figure out exactly what amount I needed.  This would have to include the correction and bolus.  Have I mentioned that I am NOT a math person?!  Flicking out those air bubbles was not fun in public either!  People would stare at me and wonder what on EARTH was I doing?!?!       Then, I moved

If you could change one thing about diabetes, what would it be?      Obviously I would want to have a cure...not have to deal with this disease day in and day out.  But, otherwise, I would say that I would like to eat  what  I want,  when  I want, and  however much  I want...without those nasty highs hours later!  If only it were as easy as counting carbs and taking the correct amount of insulin.  Truth is, there are a variety of foods that have an effect on blood sugar later on.  Some of my favorite foods are effected, unfortunately.  This includes pizza, bagels, chips, cookies, and candy.  We all want what we shouldn’t or can’t have.  Yes, I know I can eat whatever I want.  This is true--but I have to do it all in moderation.  How is that fair?  If I want to eat three slices of pizza, why can’t I?  If I want to consume a bunch of Oreos, I should be able to!  Or if I want to eat some raw cookie dough...or a big bagel for lunch....I shouldn’t have to feel like crap later on!  W

       So thirsty.  Tired all the time.  Frequent urination.  Weight loss.  Blurry vision.  What’s wrong with me?  It was Halloween 2007 when I knew something was was not right.  I literally couldn’t move from the couch.  I was going for my undergrad at the time, and my daily routine for the past few days before diagnosis was: sleep, go to school, sleep, eat dinner, and sleep.  There must be something wrong, this was not like me!  I am a highly energetic, motivated person  normally .   Normal : That’s a word I wouldn’t get use to hearing!          November 3, 2007: the day I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  What prompted me to go to the doctor?  The fact that every half hour during the night...I was going to the bathroom.  I was drinking glasses & glasses of water throughout the night.  November 3rd is also my husband’s birthday.  We had a big night planned, and we figured what I had was just a urinary tract infection.  That morning, I threw on some sweats and an old

It is the second time this has happened!  The clip on my pump broke while getting into my husband’s car.  Every time I borrow his car, it breaks!  I swear, the car must have something against me or my pump!  And it always breaks in the same place on the clip--making it impossible to use.  I went online to order a new one--it takes three days to come!  I was smart this time and ordered not one, but TWO...this way, when it happens again (which I know it will), it is available to me right away.   Not having a clip on my pump that attaches to my pants really is inconvenient!  If I am not wearing pants with pockets...I have no where to put it.  Therefore, I have to let it hang when I am around the house (I know, not good, but what other choice do I have?) or fit it between my skin and pants.  Sometimes it stays for a few minutes...but it’s inevitable....it falls!   It should be interesting today, when I work out with no clip!  I have to wear sweatpants with pockets (which surprisi