Sweetnd Truth: There's more to me than what you see...

Imagine: a silhouette that could save your spot when you have a diabetic emergency.  Well, let me back up and tell you the reason as to why I feel this would be an important necessity in  my  life.   Sitting on the stage steps in the workout room. Watching everyone else involved in a group workout session of my favorite exercise class, body combat.  I have to test my blood sugar because it's about half way through my work out.  Damn-staring back at me on the meter is a big..fat..ugly......66.  I didn't even feel that low!  I quickly grab my fruit snacks...inhale them straight out of the package.   Wait. Watch the class. Ugh, this sucks.  I'm a regular in the class; everyone knows that I'm a diabetic.  Looks of concern... "Are you ok?" many people ask.   Wait. Watch. Repeat. Ok, so I probably shouldn't have gone back into body combat as quick as I did...but I love the class.  I reassured myself that I...

Sometimes you need to let it all out... 1. The fact that I can't eat everything and anything I want...whenever I want.  There's the annoying part of testing myself and giving myself insulin for all of the sugar I intake. Plus the super sugary foods can mess me up.  It can be quite annoying at times! 2. Being asked, "Wait...you can eat that?  I thought you were a diabetic?"  Yes, I am a diabetic.  Yes, I can eat this.  Leave me alone :) 3. The annoying beeping at night when my blood sugar is too high or low.  Can't a girl get a good night's sleep?! 4. It is almost impossible to wear a dress!  The only way I am able to pull it off is by going into the bathroom stall to give myself insulin.   5. I want to be able to carry a small, teeny, tiny purse! I can't--I've got to carry my testing supplies PLUS extra pumping supplies in case something happens to the one I am wearing. 6. Lows can just ruin a day.  If I drop low, I have to...

Everydayness. Simple word; complex meaning.  It's one of the most important words that come to mind when I think about diabetes.  There's no break, there's no, 'Oh, I'll worry about it tomorrow.' Sometimes I wish I could have a vacation from this disease that consumes my life.  No...if I go on a vacation, the D has to accompany me. Talk about invasive!  When I'm sick, it doesn't go away.  No...then I need to just worry, 'Is my blood sugar being affected?' and prick my fingers just a zillion more times a day to make sure I don't have an unexpected high or low! Pile on those emotions of sadness, anger, worry, fear, panic.......they all affect the 'big D'.   Sometimes I wish I could leave it at home. 'Oops, I forgot it.' Damn you pancreas for failing me.  It's ok, I'm tough.  I can't..... won't  let myself be affected by it. Thank you diabetes world, for letting me vent.

Frustration consumes me. To stop these pessimistic thoughts, I decided to make a list of the positives related to diabetes... 1. I have become wizard at mathematics. ["So, I'm eating 50 carbs, and my blood sugar is 150...I need to figure out the correction factor and bolus for what I'm eating!"] 2. Being tough- especially  when it comes to needles!  3. Getting blood taken? No problem! 4. I have realized the true effects that food has on my body. 5. The special attention I get from my husband and cat when I am low or high. 6. The love my husband shows by changing my sensor because I can't reach where the site is on my back.  The way he comforts me if the needle stings. That's love. 7. Knowing the doctors and receptionists so well [because I am there so often!] that all I have to say when I call is "Hi, it's Joanna." 8. Being able to speak my own diabetic language: "bolus, basal, fixed prime..." No one except a diabeti...

The most awesome thing(s) I have done in spite of diabetes... I've never used diabetes as an excuse.  In fact, I can't stand it when adults use excuses to avoid work or anything that might be slightly challenging.  I make it a goal NOT to start or end a sentence with, "but my diabetes..." Diabetes is a pain in the butt.  There's no denying that.  However, I'm proud of all of the activities and accomplishments I have achieved in life so far (and continue to do!).  Here's just a few that I'd like to share: Traveling the world (Europe, Vegas, NYC, etc.) Teaching-always finding a new and exciting way to reach and motivate children  Participating in intense workouts, like body combat and hiking  Working two jobs, usually 12-14 hours per day Staying healthy by eating nutritiously-even if this means preparing my lunch and dinner at the same time, the night before What have YOU done in spite of something that might be physically/emotionally ch...

This weekend, hubby and I visited the Insulin Discovery Exhibit in NYC.  It was a revealing experience that was jam-packed with startling and enlightening information...Here are just some facts that I found thought-provoking: Thousands of animal pancreases were used to create artifical insulin.  I was astonished when I saw this picture ; all of the pancreases they needed to make just a little bit--no wonder there wasn't enough to help save all of the people with this disease.  They had to turn so many people away, only the most severe cases were treated.  For example, they helped save a three-year old child who only weighed 15 pounds.  After three months on insulin and consistent doctor support, the child weighed 29 pounds.  We should be grateful we don't have to go through what PWD did many years ago!  Imagine having to test your blood sugar using this  method ? Yes, you would actually have to put your urine in the test tube, mix, and ...

I have been meaning to post; life has been so hectic lately!  I went to the endocrinologist last week, for my 3 month appointment.  I have been religiously checking my blood sugar and eating extremely well.  I was ecstatic when I found out that my A1C went from an 9.1 to a 7.9! The higher A1C three months ago mainly had to do with my carby trip to Europe.   So, I have made a goal for myself for my next appointment in March. I want to bring my A1C into the 6's.  If I can do that, it will be the lowest A1C I have had since my diagnosis.  The start of the new year brings me high hopes of stable blood sugar and healthy eating.  I want to kick my old habits and bring my blood sugar down to where it should be! I am going to forget the past, my mistakes and frustrations with diabetes, and "toast" to new beginnings...the start of a new year with excellent blood sugars! Happy New Year everyone!